FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

My hand is literally red from high-fiving everyone in my general vicinity. I slapped someone's hand into someone else's face. I am so happy right now. Second place, fuckers!

The Brett McLean Five-Point Special

You know, I considered watching the game last night. I've been itching for some hockey lately, I've liked watching the Panthers since the Pavel Bure trade, Toronto was coming off of a big win in a season where there haven't been many. Was I naive enough to think that doubling up Ottawa was going to kick the Maple Leafs into a playoff push? Of course not, but I thought that maybe they'd be up for playing a good hockey game.

I was wrong.

Thankfully, much like the night before when I had the option of watching The Baby-Sitters Club on television but decided to stay in bed, I passed. Judging by the 8-0 score, the hat-trick (and assist) from Richard Zednik and a five point night from Brett "What the FUCK?!" McLean, and Andrew Raycroft's magnificent 4 GA/7 SV/31 MIN stat-line... I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

There's not many positive things you can say about this team these days. Actually, I've narrowed it down to two:

1) Andy Wozniewski was waived today. Yeah, you can look at this as a "Bryan McCabe is finally back" moment, or you can look at it as "Wozniewski is finally off the damn team". I'm going with the second one. It's cloudy outside, but I could have sworn I could see sun when I read about this.

2) The real big wins for this team are the big losses. In which case, HELL FUCKING YEAH WHAT A GAME

Really, since Tampa and LA won (not to mention Edmonton the night before), and since we were somehow closing in on the Panthers, this just helps solidify a top pick in the draft. While I haven't lost my faith that this team to completely fuck this up and end up in 9th place yet again, every loss brings us closer to that not happening.

***

Steve and I have discussed what we think Fletcher needs to do in the next 20 days to right this ship, or at least cover the sinkholes and give the next guy buckets to bail the water out. Steve is very much a "trade Sundin" guy, believing the first priority should be to dump Mats to the highest bidder. I don't think this is necessarily an anti-Sundin sentiment. I know that Steve thinks the key is to get rid of Sundin so that those who are left behind are so demoralized that they only play worse, securing a higher draft pick. I suppose there's merit to that idea, except that I really don't think this team can get much worse. This is probably easy to write after last night's game, but they already play like shit with Sundin in the lineup. This just isn't a good team.

Me? Well, my stance was defined a couple of posts ago. That said, I'm more open to a Sundin deal now, and have singled out a couple of teams I wouldn't mind doing business with. The problem there is that I've been watching Mats toil for the blue and white for as long as I've been a hockey fan, and while I've never really considered myself a huge Mats guy (I've always liked him and thought he was one of the best players in the league, but it's not like I'm naming my hockey blog after him or anything), the thought of him in a different lineup makes me rather sad. So, I tend to want a lot for him, the kind of return that probably will have people laugh and think of me as a traditional message board Leafs fan who ridiculously overvalues Toronto players. Whatever. Here's what I've looked at around the league and decided I would be content with as a return on Sundin:

From Anaheim: Bobby Ryan and the Oilers' first pick (basically two top five picks in return for giving Mats his best shot at a Cup and probably a mortal lock that he'd come back in July).

From Carolina: Tim Gleason and two of Andrew Ladd, Brandon Sutter, and Carolina's first pick this year (probably a lot and this depends on the Hurricanes sticking around the playoff hunt and Rutherford not really thinking things through, but I like Gleason and think he'd be a good fit with the direction the blueline should be headed, plus you get a player, prospect, and a pick in the teens, or at least some combination of those three).

From Calgary: Alex Tanguay (yeah, I'd do this straight-up... doing this trade helps Calgary because it clears money off the books for next season, allowing them to try to keep Huselius/Langkow since you know Sundin wouldn't stay, it gives Sundin a decent shot at winning the Cup, and the public sentiment seems to have turned against Tanguay in Calgary. Here, it gives us a great, top-flight forward locked up - yeah, he's another big ticket guy, but Tanguay is the type you WANT to be dropping 5.75 million on. Plus, you get Sundin back next year, and you have two-thirds of a great top line already).

Of course, none of these are realistic and it's probably more likely we'll get an abortion of a return like the one suggested by Pierre LeBrun last week (Sundin and a one year extension to Detroit for Hudler, an '08 first, and an '09 second... the picks are worthless because Detroit always finishes so high, and I don't think Hudler is ever going to be anything special) and that I will be angry.

Anyway, I still don't think you need to trade Sundin, and I've started to sway myself on not dumping Pavel Kubina for whatever you can find. When Steve and I were discussing this, he asked me that if I can put together such a good argument for how he's valuable, then why not just keep him? And I really didn't have a good answer to that. I'd still move him if you can get something back, because he does have a large contract, but it's only for another two seasons and I'm no longer opposed to keeping him. A similar thing is happening with me and Jason Blake. His contract is horrible, but a 20 goal, 50 point guy has some value to a team, and that's assuming he doesn't rebound slightly. Past that, what are the options? Again, if you can find someone to take him, do it, but why buy him out and eat a 2 million cap hit for the next EIGHT years? $4 million sadly isn't bad for a top six guy and Blake is one of those. He just needs to be better for next year. But I mean, it could be worse... he could be Dustin Penner.

McCabe, Tucker, and Raycroft NEED to be off this team by next season. I think Gill will get moved at the deadline, and Bell will probably get bought out. I think Tucker would work well in Edmonton's lineup, but a) why would they try to add a veteran at the deadline? and b) why would Tucker waive his no-trade clause to go to another rebuilding team? Maybe it's just my unbridled desire to get Rob Schremp that's giving me these thoughts.

I think we might start doing regular game-day topics around here like you see on a real hockey blog. Who knows?

Oh and Steve, no, I am not going to stop ridiculously over-labelling my posts.

Crisis

I'm just starting to think that hockey is a really hard sell for me in the late part of the year. Last year I got really into things after the calendar turned, and this year it's the same - otherwise I wouldn't be writing this. Then again, we're under different circumstances this time around, so let's get into that rather than make yet another apology on lacking posts, shall we?

The Toronto Maple Leafs, as presently constructed, are a sham of a hockey team.

There's not much more to say about it than that, really, but why not go into the gory details? The team is completely unwatchable. We went to a bar last week to watch the game against the Kings, and we ended up leaving well early (well, at least I did - Jared stayed to get drunk, I'm sure).

Everything about the team is set-up wrong. The goalie situation has been botched again and again and again, and that's coming from someone who really likes and believes in Toskala. The defense is terrible and has precisely one quality, top-flight player. The offense scores goals, but not enough to make up for all the goals that go in the net, and there are some seriously rotten contracts up front. The players have stopped listening to the coach, the general manager is dangling in the wind, the team president is meddling and in over his head, and the ownership is fractured and apparently unwilling to do anything. At least, unwilling to do anything with any sort of speed.

The Leafs have been bad all year, a culmination of the post-lockout teams being just good enough to almost make the playoffs with a big run at the end to hold off sweeping changes, at least two seasons of short-sighted trades and signings pre-lockout, and a messy ownership situation that has crippled the team ever since Steve Stavro sold off in 2003. That was when most of us first heard of Richard Peddie, the man who became the public face of the team's upper-management and the one who became more hands-on in decisions for both the Leafs and the Raptors. Peddie will probably never lose his job - since he joined the team in 1998, MLSE has tripled in value - but he's proven, both with the Raptors and Maple Leafs, that he shouldn't be involved in the sporting operations of these teams. The Raptors turned their organization around when Peddie hired Bryan Colangelo, gave him full control and stepped back to the board room. Unless the MLSE board and Peddie are prepared to do something similar with the Leafs, nothing is going to change.

Pretty much everyone out there sees this thing coming to a climax by week's end, and I'm in with that group. Apparently, there's a board meeting tomorrow, and I expect they'll make a decision on Ferguson then. That decision, I assume, will be to fire him. That said, I think they won't announce it until later in the week to try to get the interim guy under contract. We'll see.

There are numerous great reads on the internet about the Leafs' situation that have been written in the last couple of days. I've sort of become sidetracked since I started writing and my thoughts aren't as focused, so while I take a little bit to jot down what I think needs to be done, why don't you go ahead and take a look at some takes that are out there?

James Mirtle: Where the Leafs sit, Leafs look to Fletcher

Pierre LeBrun: Career Suicide

Lowetide: He's a Real Nowhere Man

Alec Brownscombe: 'Trader Cliff' Makes Sense

Damien Cox: Leaf directors need to act now

Eric Duhatschek: Scotty Bowman: Mr. Right

Scott Burnside: Leafs' limbo driving team into NHL basement

Jason Voulgaris: A Post For Wonderful Surprises, This Thing I Have Become, I Hear Ottawa Has a Good Team, It's Mess, I Confess

Needless to say, things have gotten bizarre here. The sky is falling and the tornado alarm has been sounded. We've got a crisis on our hands - or at least, that's how it certainly feels. I'll be back with more on this later.

That's just fantastic

So much for that. Steve pretty much covers my sentiments over the loss in the post below (though I don't share the feelings regarding baseball), and I don't have much to add. Way to kick me in the nuts though guys. I mean, I've been hyping this team up as sixth-place potential all week and hey... I guess now I know why I don't get hyped about this team often.

It's going to come down to the last game against Montreal, plain and simple. I hope we're sitting ahead of them going into that game but either way we'll need a clean victory there to get in. Dammit. I'm not happy with hockey this weekend.

Losing 7-2 is Sweeeeeeet!

So you're going after one of the final playoff spots available. You're fighting with numerous teams for it. You've got a game in hand on some of these teams. So what do you do? You go out and lose 7-2 to the Rangers ... just to make the next week even more interesting/difficult than it already was. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Oh well, who gives a fuck. My real love came back tonight. It gave me something to be excited about. Let's go Blue Jays.

A Weekend with the Slugs

It's been an emotional weekend as I'm sure you can pick up from Steve's rantings.

The game last night was... well, weird. I didn't see much of the first two periods, as I was continuing my usual tradition of "not actually watching the Leafs play", but then Jared arranged a get together for the last period of the game and pounds upon pounds of chicken wings. It was us here at BBP along with one raging faggot/Sabres fan (another came later... after the win... wearing a Sabres jersey. Which I can guarantee he put on just as the Sabres won the game, and that he probably would have hidden if the Sabres lost (or, alternatively, if Buffalo still sucked, probably wouldn't even own it).

What I did catch of the game was really weird. Toronto was hanging with Buffalo. That... well, that shouldn't happen. And I guess the only explanation I can come up with for what happened in the third period is that Buffalo realized "hey, what the hell, why is Toronto winning?" and decided to not put up with that. The Leafs completely fell apart. We were sitting there, enjoying our artery-clogging food and the fact that our favourite team was handily winning over arguably the best team in the league (well, Brett wasn't, he stayed kind of quiet. He only really talked to order his food, talk about something non-hockey related, or, interestlingly, praise Toronto. I guess the lesson here is that Buffalo fans are really just Ottawa fans who realize how gay they are for liking Ottawa and wish they were still Toronto fans). As Steve mentioned, there were other (drunken) Leafs fans in attendance; the one guy who was wearing a Toronto jersey kept yelling and carrying on with Jared, who was in his McCabe jersey.

Then, all of a sudden, everything went to hell. I honestly cannot explain, rationalize, or even describe what the hell happened. Everything went wrong. Everything. Four unanswered goals. Goals on consecutive shots. Brett coming out of the closet and trash talking the Leafs. The other guys in the bar got up and left. We saw one goal and thought it was the replay of the previous one, only it was actually a new goal. It was horrible. No one player, event, or magical elixir deserves the blame - everyone shit the bed in the last 15 minutes. The worst part is that we weren't even surprised.

So now we're into the second game, midway through the second period, and the Leafs are up 3-1 again. Devereaux is on speed this weekend, Tucker's having a beast of a game with two goals (making up for the horrible game he had last night, I guess), Raycroft is playing great, and the crowd is really into it. Hell, Ryan Miller even got chased from the game, and we got to see Ty Conklin. Ty Conklin.

Can Toronto win this game? I don't know now. Before last night, based on the first half of tonight's game I would say they definitely could. The Leafs are in charge out there. But last night we had a 4-1 lead and that went to hell, so I'm nervous for how the rest of this goes. We need the win, no question. Especially with both New York teams winning earlier today, Montreal having Washington on the bill for tonight, and Carolina inexplicably leading San Jose. As it is, we're three points out of a tie for eighth. Letting Montreal and Carolina take points while Toronto gets none will be a complete disaster.

Fuck You Matt Stajan; Season Over

Well that was a fucking shitty game if you are a Leafs fan. Sure if you're a Sabres fans you're grinning like a fucking moron.

Well I don't have anything to say in defence of the Leafs. That was bullshit. A 4-1 lead, only to blow it all fairly late in the 3rd and lose 5-4. That's fucking balls, there's no other way to put it. They should be ashamed of themselves. They absolutely dominated that entire game. It was a fucking mauling. We (all of us at BBP and some other friends; who happen to be Sabres fans) were out for dinner. There were other Leafs fans there, and we were all celebrating, thinking we'd just won an extremely well played game, and we were that much closer to a playoff spot; when all of a sudden everything goes to hell, and the Leafs shit on themselves.

Well fuck me. I'll call it now. Despite any mathematical chances and despite the fact the other teams could still lose, and everything stays the same (minus games remaining) the Leafs season is over. That loss will be the straw that breaks the camels back. That's it. Nice try, we faked being a decent team for almost the entire year.

Also, fuck you Matt Stajan. Like sure it's all well and good you finally decided to score a goal (the Leafs second of the game). It's also great you decided to assist on the 3rd goal. But fuck you that you decided to do it right after I called you Matt "Can't Score" Stajan. Honestly, that's fucking bullshit. I hope Cam Janssen (at some point next season because we will not be joining the Devils in the Playoffs) takes your fucking head off. I hated you before, but making me look like a fool on a brand new blog? That shit ain't gone fly. Fuck that.